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07. Сценарий эпизода «Каменный Джейн» (Jaynestown). Автор: Бен Эдлунд (Ben Edlund)

Firefly - "Jaynestown"

Written by: Ben Edlund
Directed by: Marita Grabiak

Episode #: 1AGE06

SHOOTING SCRIPT - September 11, 2002



Kaylee and Simon enter from the passenger corridor, walking slowly as they talk. Kaylee is a-glow with warm flirtation.

KAYLEE: Come on, it's true. Admit it.

SIMON: No, I won't, because it's not. I use: swear-words, like anybody else.

KAYLEE: Oh really? Never heard you. When is: it you do all your cussin'? After I: go to bed?

SIMON: I swear. When it's appropriate.

KAYLEE (laughs): Simon! Whole point of swearin' is: that it ain't appropriate.

Inara walks toward them, heading for the stairs up to the shuttle catwalk. She's dressed with stunning elegance.

KAYLEE (cont'd): Hey there, 'Nara. Heading off for: some glamorous romance?

Simon turns, momentarily stunned by her elegance.

INARA (a little laugh): Let's hope so.

SIMON: You look... very.. very...

INARA (smiles, then heads: upstairs): That's my job, Doctor. See you two: tomorrow. Don't let Mal get you into: too much trouble while I'm gone.

KAYLEE: Bye now! Have good sex!

Simon turns to her, abashed. Kaylee is innocent sincerity:

KAYLEE (cont'd): What?

Then Simon catches sight of something through the infirmary window, shouts, and makes his way around to the door.


Kaylee follows. Simon stands in shock. The infirmary has been ransacked. The contents of the cabinets cover every surface. Jayne sits on the examination table, quietly taping a SMALL HANDGUN to his bare mid-section with medical tape.

KAYLEE: Now see, this'd be the perfect time: for a swear-word.


Simon enters, shrill with agitation. Jayne doesn't look up.

SIMON: What happened in here?!

JAYNE: Needed to find some tape.

SIMON: So you had to tear my infirmary: apart?!

JAYNE (looks up at mess): 'parently.

Simon starts putting it all away, fuming. Kaylee helps him.

SIMON: My God, you're like a trained ape! Without the training. No, apes are: noble creatures, you're some sort of: man-ape-thing that went horribly: wrong.

JAYNE (nonchalant): Keep that tongue waggin', little man,: might just have to rip it out an': flush it down the freshener.

Jayne pulls a length of tape with a loud rip, biting it off with his teeth. MAL appears at the door, looking at the gun taped to Jayne's middle.

MAL: Jayne, I told you, we're puttin' down: at the Canton factory settlement on: Higgins' Moon.

JAYNE: Yep. That you did.

MAL: Canton don't let you bring guns into: their town.

JAYNE: Yessir. That's why I ain't strappin': one to my hip.

MAL: No, that's why you ain't strappin': one anywhere.

JAYNE: Listen, Mal, I was in Canton a few: years back, and I might have made me: a coupla enemies thereabouts.

SIMON (sarcasm): Enemies? You? No! How can it be?

JAYNE (ignores Simon): I just don't like the idea of goin': in empty-handed is all--

MAL: Why're you still arguing what's been: decided?

MAL stares at him, and leaves as Jayne glumly pulls the tape off, wincing.


Higgins' Moon below: small, muddy brown, no place to raise a kid. Serenity rakes back, her belly glowing red as she hits re-entry. She makes a controlled tumble into the atmosphere.


Wash pilots, hits switches in preparation for landing, then hits the ship's comm.

WASH: OK Inara, we're atmospheric. You're: good to go--


Inara works her controls, heating up the shuttle's engine, disengaging from Serenity.

INARA: Thanks, Wash. Shuttle disengaging in: three, two, one...

We hear LOUD METAL CA-THUNKS as Serenity's locks on the shuttle are released.


Inara's shuttle disengages, peeling away.


ANGLE OVER MUD-BOG - which bubbles and farts in the FG. Beyond it, Serenity comes to rest on a landing field at the edge of a peninsula that stretches out into the bog. Factory structures stand on the peninsula's far side.


Mal walks down the ramp. Wash, Zoe, stand at the bottom. Kaylee and Simon stand with Book and River at the top of the ramp, looking around.

SIMON: Well. Canton really-- (breathes in): --really stinks.

MAL: That's what makes it a great drop: point. No one comes here that: doesn't have to.

WASH: I vote we do this job really really: fast.

MAL: Kessler's our man, he's holding the: goods we're to deliver. We go in, we: make contact. Easy peasy. (turns to Zoe): Zoe, you're holding down the fort.: Call ahead to Bernoulli, tell him: we'll have his merchandise there end: of the week.

WASH: Don't I usually stay with the ship?

ZOE: I outrank you. Have fun. (kisses him): Zoe goes up the ramp.

SIMON: So, this is a place where they... they: make mud?

KAYLEE: Yep. Clay, really. Be surprised how: many things it ends up in. (pats the ship): Serenity's got more than a few: ceramic parts in her.

SIMON: Really. Huh. (looks out): A mud-based economy. That's almost: interesting.

KAYLEE: Cap'n..? Don't you think Simon should: come with us?

SIMON: What? Kaylee, I don't think that's: such a good--

KAYLEE: You said yourself this was an easy: one. And he's got to get a little: outlaw field experience sometime, if: he's gonna be of any use 'cept: doctorin -

JAYNE (snorts): Fat chance of that-

Jayne stomps down the ramp, joining them. He's tying the flaps of his 'thrilling heroics' hat under his chin. He pulls his goggles over his eyes. Wash sees his new look and raises his eyebrows. Book turns to Simon.

BOOK: You go on, boy. See the sights. I can: watch over your sister. I believe: we've been developing a rapport.

SIMON: I don't know. River can be--

BOOK: Go on. I'm a Shepherd after all.: Should be able to keep my eye on a: flock of one.

Book turns to River, who smiles at him sweetly, nodding.

MAL: We're not going far, doctor. And you: might maybe make yourself useful.

JAYNE: Come again?

Mal turns to Jayne, sees his hat/goggles, squints at him for a beat, then continues.

MAL: The management here don't take so: kind to sightseein'. Which is why: we'll be posing as buyers. And there: isn't a one of us looks more the part: than the good Doctor. (looks Simon over): The pretty fits, the soft hands,: definitely a moneyed individual rich: and lily-white and pasty all over--

SIMON: All right. Fine. I'll go. Just, stop: describing me.

Mal smiles and guides Simon into the lead of their party.

MAL: You're the boss, boss.

JAYNE: He's the boss now? (growls to himself): Day keeps gettin' better and better.


Oh, it's muddy all right. Mud encrusts everything; the WORKERS, the pipelines that feed out of the mud-bog, the crappy structures, and THE FOREMAN who oversees it all. He wears hip-high rubberized boots, a MACHETE strapped in its sheath to one leg. Our crew passes through a chain-link fence which surrounds the area.

The foreman sees them and turns. At his throat is a thin METAL COLLAR with two flat black discs, mounted over his larynx. He touches it, and his voice projects as if from a BULLHORN, gruff and confrontative.

FOREMAN: Area's employee-only! You best be: headin' back to the Landing, 'less: you got business here!

SIMON (too loudly): YES! (Foreman puzzled): We're, uh--I-- Yes. I'm looking to: buy some mud.

Mal trades a look with Wash over Simon's awkwardness. But the foreman shuts off his bullhorn collar and steps forward, all salesman smiles now.

FOREMAN: Well, then. 'Came to the right place.

He claps Simon on the back, his glove leaving a dusty handprint of dried mud on Simon's jacket.


The foreman leads Simon on a tour of the plant. The others follow a distance behind, and by their looks this has been going on a bit long. MUD WORKERS shamble by, bent under heavy loads of mud-bricks; clearly back-breaking work.

FOREMAN: ...and a' course we can handle any: volume here, got over two-thousand: workers, mostly indentured, pay 'em: next to nothin', so's we can pass: them savings directly on to you-the-: customer...

SIMON: Savings. Excellent, that's-- because: as I said before, I'll be needing: quite a bit of it... I--I'm a buyer.

Simon struggles to hold his cover, but the foreman isn't listening closely enough to notice. He rambles on:

FOREMAN: Yup. Best of its kind. We mix it and: brick it raw on the premises, but you: add the right catalysts, kiln it: proper, this stuff is stronger'n: steel ten times over, at half the: weight.

SIMON: Yes, I-- I've heard good things about: the mud... Lot of people are talking: about the mud...

Now the foreman turns to him, a little quizzical.

WASH (to Kaylee): What happened to Simon? Who is this: diabolical master of disguise?

KAYLEE: He's learning...

MAL (calls to Simon): 'Scuse me, Boss? I'm sure the: foreman's got things need attendin': Why don't we wander a bit, take a: look at the operation, then you can: figure on whether we'll set up our: account here?

SIMON: Yes? (playing up role): I mean, I make the decisions around: here, uh-- employee... (to Foreman): I employ him. He is a person I: employ. I'm the boss.

The foreman gives him a somewhat confused look.

FOREMAN: O-Kay... So you'll be wantin' to--?

SIMON: Yes, I think we'll wander for a bit.

FOREMAN: Fair enough. You come see me when: you're done.

He walks off.

MAL: All right, let's head to worker-town.

As they pass by Simon, he reads from their looks that he didn't handle things so effectively. But Kaylee falls in step with him, brushing the mud off his jacket, smiling.

KAYLEE: I thought you did great.


The crew walks down a muddy lane between two rows of MUD DWELLINGS. Jayne looks back at Simon.

JAYNE (to Mal): Boy's gonna get us killed. Let's: just do the deal and git.

MAL: His disguise ain't half so funny as: yours. What are you supposed to be,: anyway?

WASH: You haven't been here in years,: Jayne. You really think you need that: get-up? No one's gonna remember you...

MAL, in the lead, stops, seeing something OS. Deadpan:

MAL: Think it's possible they might.

Before them stands a life-size mud-clay STATUE OF JAYNE on a pedestal. It's posed heroically, staring down in proud defiance. Jayne stares, in shock.

SIMON: Son of a bitch...


Act One


Jayne, Mal and the others look up at Jayne's statue, still stunned speechless. Mal steps up next to Jayne; both are transfixed by the statue.

MAL: Jayne?

JAYNE: Yeah?

MAL: You want to tell me how come there's: a statue of you, here, starin' at me: like I owe him somethin'?

JAYNE: Wishin' I could, Cap'n.

MAL: No. Seriously. Jayne? You want to: tell me how come there's a--

Jayne shoots furtive glances all around, keenly aware of his current visibility. His voice is an urgent whisper.

JAYNE (interrupting): Look, Mal, I got no ruttin' idea. I: was here a few years back, like I: said. Pulled a second-story, stole a: lotta scratch from the Magistrate up: on the hill. But things went way: south, and I had to high-tail it.: They don't put you on a pedestal in: town square for that--

MAL: Yeah, 'cept I'm lookin' at some fair: compellin' evidence says they do. Or: maybe there's more went down here: than you're lettin' on?

JAYNE (hand to breast): On my mother, Mal. I don't got the: faintest notion.

The others stare up at the statue. Simon is deeply disturbed.

SIMON: This must be what going mad feels: like.

WASH: I think they've really captured him,: though, you know? Captured his: essence.

KAYLEE: He looks sort of angry, don't he?

WASH: Kinda what I meant.

A LOUD STEAM WHISTLE blows - Jayne jumps near a mile.

FOREMAN (O.S.) (distant, bullhorn): Shift four, on duty. Shift four, on: duty.

A new shift of mud farmers starts coming out of their homes, trudging toward the factory area.

JAYNE: Hey, I got an idea-- 'Stead of: hangin' around playin' art critic: until I get pinched by The Man, how's: about we move the hell away from this: eerie-ass piece-a-work and get on: with our 'creasingly eerie-ass day? How's that!?

Mal stands, staring at the statue.

MAL: I don't know. This here's a spectacle: might warrant a moment's: consideration.

Kaylee sidesteps by behind him, looking up, unsettled.

KAYLEE: Wherever I move to, his eyes keep...: followin' me.

Jayne stomps off, teeth gritted with fury.

JAYNE: Come on, gorramn it! We got a job,: let's go do it ant get outta here.

Jayne stops and turns, a distance away from the statue. But they can barely pull their eyes off it.

JAYNE (cont'd): I crossed the Magistrate of this: company-town, understand? An' he's: not exactly a forgivin' sorta guy--


Inara escorted by a company man, walks across the lawn of the Magistrate's estate.

MAGISTRATE HIGGINS, late fifties, tall, powerfully built under a few decades of doughy excess, stands with his VALET, ready to receive her. She does a graceful curtsey.

INARA: Magistrate Higgins, I may presume?

HIGGINS: You may. But I only make the people: I own use my title. (chuckles): Mr. Higgins will do fine.

INARA: And you can call me Inara, Mr.: Higgins.

HIGGINS: It's a rare pleasure, your visit to: my little moon. Journey wasn't too: taxing?

INARA: Not at all. I am refreshed and ready.: Shall we begin at say, six o'clock?

HIGGINS: Perfect. (starts to go): I have a feeling it will take all: your arts to deal with this: particular problem.

INARA: Every 'problem', Mr. Higgins, is an: opportunity in disguise...


River sits at the dining table. Book's Bible is open in front of her, and she scribbles furiously into it, crossing out words, writing in the margins. Book walks in, speaks from across the room.

BOOK: What are we up to, sweetheart?

RIVER: Fixing your Bible.

BOOK: I--uh-- What?

He starts moving over to her.

RIVER: Bible's broken. Contradictions,: faulty logistics--it doesn't make: sense...

Now Book sees what she's doing. His Bible's all fucked up, and there's a small stack of torn out pages next to it..

BOOK: No, no, you can't...

River's still scribbling away as she chatters manically.

RIVER: So we'll integrate non-progressional: evolution theory with God's creation: of Eden -- eleven inherent metaphoric: parallels already there... eleven,: important number, prime number, one: goes into the house of eleven eleven: times but always comes out one--

BOOK: River, just take it easy. You: shouldn't--

RIVER: Noah's Ark is a problem--

She flips a page back and forth, frowning at it.

BOOK: Really.

RIVER (rapid nod): We'll have to call it early quantum: state phenomenon-- Only way to fit: five-thousand species of mammal on: the same boat-

She tears the page out of the book.

BOOK: Gimme that!

Book snatches the Bible up, somewhat possessively.

BOOK (cont'd): River! You don't fix the Bible!

River looks up at him, sweet, sincere, deadpan:

RIVER (holds up torn out: pages): It's broken. It doesn't make sense.

BOOK: It's not about making sense. It's: about believing in something, and: letting that belief be real enough to: change your life. It's about 'faith'. (gets up): You don't fix faith, River. It fixes: you.

He smiles, trying to gently take the crumpled, torn-out pages from her hand. She tugs back. They have a short tug-of-war then Book relents.

BOOK (cont'd): Why don't you, ah, you hang on to: those then.


The kind of dirty dive that's actually made of dirt. Rugged, simple furnishings, with a crowd of mud-crusted off-duty WORKERS hunkered over their beers. A LOCAL BUSKER strums a battered GUITAR in one corner. MEADOWS, a young mudder, sweeps up the bar with a dust broom. He looks at Jayne with some interest.

Our crew sits around a table. Mal has his back against the wall, taking in the view.

There's several clay bottles of beer on the table. Jayne pours himself a drink, as do others.

JAYNE: Can't be a statue a' me. No reason: for it. Flies in the face of every: kinda sense.

WASH: Won't argue with that-- (drinks, spits it out): Gaah! < What is this garbage >!? [Je: shr shuh muh lan dong shi!?]

JAYNE: They call it Mudder's Milk. (takes a big gulp): Got all the vitamins, proteins, and: carbs of your Grandma's best turkey: dinner, plus fifteen-percent alcohol.

WASH: It's horrific!

SIMON: Worked for the Egyptians.

Jayne downs his glass and exhales, turning to Simon.

JAYNE: Whazzat?

SIMON: The ancient Egyptians, back on Earth-: That-Was. It's not so different from: the ancestral form of beer they fed: to the slaves who built their: pyramids. Liquid bread. Kept them: from starving, and knocked them out: at night, so they wouldn't be: inclined to insurrection.

KAYLEE: Wow, Simon... That's so-- so: historical.

JAYNE (to Simon): Tell me, Little Miss Big-Words-- You: see a pyramid sittin' out there?


JAYNE (rests his case): Neither do I. (pours a beer): So here, let me pour you a big frosty: mug of 'shut-the-hell-up.'

Jayne shoves a mug of beer at Simon.

MAL narrows his eyes at a relatively WELL-DRESSED MAN across the bar, who seems to be watching them.

MAL (to himself): Now what's a gussied-up fella like: you doin' in a place like this?

The man sees he's being seen.

A YOUNG BOY (maybe 13) stands a short distance away from the crew's table, staring at Jayne with intense interest.

JAYNE: Shake your head, boy. Yer eyes are: stuck. (boy still staring): 'GIT! (boy runs off)

The well-dressed man walks up to their table. He stops at Mal.

WELL-DRESSED MAN: You wouldn't be looking for Kessler?

MAL: Just having a brew.

The man sits, close.

WELL-DRESSED MAN: I knew a Kessler.

MAL: "Knew?"

WELL-DRESSED MAN: He was a good middle-man. Low: profile, didn't filch. But last week,: the factory foreman and his prod crew: heard he was moving contraband: through town and gave him a peck a': trouble for it.

MAL: What kind of a 'peck' was that?

WELL-DRESSED MAN: 'Kind where they hacked off his hands: and feet with machetes and rolled him: into the bog.

WASH: They peck pretty hard 'round here.

MAL: Listen, I got a client offworld: waiting for his delivery. If the: goods are gone --

WELL-DRESSED MAN: Not to worry, your man's merchandise: is safe in Kessler's hiding place. We: just got to figure out how to get it: cross town without being seen by the: foreman and his prods. I'd advise we: all just lay low for the moment--

The Busker starts singing.

BUSKER: JAAAYNE! The man they call JAAAYNE!

Jayne hears his name and sits straight up, horrified.

JAYNE (chinese): < Hay-soose-mother-of-jumped-up-- >: [Yeh-soo, ta ma duh...]

With lightning reflexes, Kaylee slaps her hand over his mouth; the applause of the mud workers (for the busker) helps cover Jayne's outburst.

Thus begins 'The Ballad of Jayne'. The mud-workers erupt into the opening chorus, swinging their mugs in joyful song.

CROWD: He robbed from the rich, and gave to: the poor, stood up to The Man, and: gave him what for / our love for him: now, ain't hard to explain, THE HERO: OF CANTON! THE MAN THEY CALL JAYNE!

The crowd gives way to the Busker, who sings verse:

BUSKER: Our Jayne saw the mudder's backs: breaking / and he saw the mudders': laments / and he saw the Magistrate: taking / every dollar an' leavin': five cents / so he said, 'can't do: this to my people' / 'can't crush: them under your heel'/ Jayne strapped: on his hat, and in ten seconds flat,: stole everything there was fit to: steal--

The crowd erupts again, REPEATING THE CHORUS. Over this, Mal and Jayne discuss this unsettling new wrinkle.

MAL: Umm... Jayne?

JAYNE: Yeah, Mal.

MAL: You got any light to shed on this: development?

JAYNE: No, Mal.

Simon, seated by Kaylee, looks even more disturbed.

SIMON: No... This must be what going mad: feels like...

He lifts up his beer and takes a deep drink.

The chorus ends and the Busker goes back to pickin', singing/story-telling another verse.

BUSKER: And here's what separates heroes/: from common folk like you an' I / the: man they call Jayne, turned 'round: his plane / and let that money hit: sky / he dropped it onto our houses: / he dropped it into our yards / the: man called Jayne, stole away our pain: / and headed out for the stars

The crowd has erupted again, REPEATING THE CHORUS. Jayne seethes, facts dawning on him:

JAYNE: I'll be gorramned! That's where the: cash went! (to Mal and the rest): I stole that money from Higgins, like: the song says. Lifted me one of his: hover-planes, but I got tagged by: anti-aircraft. Started losin': altitude - had to dump them: strongboxes of money to stay airborne. (takes a drink): Sixty-thousand, untraceable, an' I: dropped it square in mud-farmer: central!

The CHORUS ENDS, and the Busker plays a final bit of guitar, crescendoing as the crowd APPLAUDS. Wash looks at them all in disbelief,

WASH: We gotta go to the crappy town where: I'm a hero...


Book steps into his berth and pulls out the sink, starting his pre-dinner ablutions. He starts to his bun of hair...


River walks from the common area into the passage leading to Book's berth.


Book splashes his face, bent over the sink.

RIVER (O.S.): Hello?

BOOK: In here, River.

River steps into his doorway, looking down at the.. crumpled pages in her hands.

RIVER: I'm--I tore these out of your symbol,: and they turned into paper-- but I: want to put them back, so--

BOOK: Sorry? What's that?

His hair is like a corona of grey fire around his head. River looks up, sees him, and drops the pages.

RIVER: [highest-pitched scream imaginable]

She runs off.

BOOK: River--?


River runs by Zoe. Zoe hears Book inside.

BOOK (O.S.): River--Come back--

ZOE: Book? What the happened to-- (as she turns, looks: into Book's door): AAA!

She startles at Book's hair.


Jayne is hunched over his beer, looking ready to pop a nut. The crowd is lively and drunkish.

JAYNE: Captain, now they're off the subject: of me, shouldn't we be gettin' the: hell out of here?

MAL: I'd say that's a reasonable request,: given the circumstance.

Jayne's up in a flash, stomping out. The others follow in his wake.

JAYNE: Ruttin' mudders...

He pushes the front door open with a heave and stops dead:


The street in front of the tavern is filled with an affordable sea of MUD-WORKERS At the front is the BOY who Jayne chased off before. On sight of Jayne, they all cry:


Off Jayne and Mal's shocked expression, we BLACK-OUT.


Act Two


A second after we left. Jayne stands, eyes aflame with alarm, as the crowd chants his name.


A beat of this, then Jayne turns, unceremoniously darting back into the bar. Wash turns to the others, mocking tremendous excitement.

WASH: I can't get enough of this local: color!


The crowd inside has stopped singing, confused. Meadows, the young man who's been sweeping the place, watches as Jayne pushes through them, bellying up to the bar, slams down his hat and goggles, desperate for drink.

JAYNE: Gimme some milk.

The BARTENDER splashes a bottle of mudder's milk into a glass and Jayne takes a slug.

Meadows puts his broom down, stepping into the middle of the tavern behind Jayne, who's drinking down the mudder's milk.

MEADOWS: Don't you understand?! He's come back! (crowd still lost): It's Jayne!

Jayne's eyes dart like a wounded bull's in the ring. The bartender SLAPS the glass away from his lips.

JAYNE: What th--

BARTENDER: The hero of Canton won't be drinking: that < panda urine > [shiong mao niao].

He pulls a dusty WHISKEY BOTTLE from below the bar and slams it down.

BARTENDER (cont'd): He drinks the best whiskey in th': house.

Jayne, mystified, watches the Bartender pour.

CROWD INSIDE BAR: [erupts into a CHEER]

They converge on him, slapping his back, shaking his hand. The brute has lost his connection to reality, just stands there as if in a strange dream.

MAL and the others push back into the crowded bar. The well- dressed man catches MAL by the sleeve, alarmed.

WELL-DRESSED MAN: 'Hell is goin' on? This how people: lay low where you're from?!

MAL: Not generally, no...

WELL-DRESSED MAN: Listen, friend, I came here to make: sure a deal went down solid, not to: get chopped up by the Canton prod: crew and fed to the bog!

MAL pulls the man's grasping hand from his arm, a touch riled by the contact. He's intuitively piecing out a new strategy.

MAL: Understand your concerns, friend. But: this here is all part of our new plan.

KAYLEE: Captain? How exactly is this part of: our--

MAL (gritted teeth): Still workin' the details...


Inara has laid out a complex array of bowls and china on a low table in the main area of her shuttle. She's preparing for the COMPANION TEA CEREMONY. She lights a candle, then flips open a pretty silver pocketwatch, nodding to herself as she checks the time. There is a knock at her OS door.

Magistrate Higgins steps into the doorway.

HIGGINS: Inara, allow me to introduce my son,: Fess Higgins.

FESS HIGGINS, the president's twenty-six year-old son, steps into the doorway. He's on the heavy side, but not unattractive, in his way. Inara smiles warmly.

INARA: Hello, Fess. (to Higgins): Mr. Higgins, this shuttle is a Place: Of Union. I'm sure you can: appreciate--

HIGGINS: The lady said 'hello', Fess. Don't: just stand there looking at your: shoes--

FESS: Dad--

Higgins forcefully guides Fess into the shuttle, stopping just short of the tea ceremony table.

HIGGINS: Get in there, son, make a man of: yourself!

INARA: Mr. Higgins--

HIGGINS (sees tea set-up): what is this? I brought you here to: bed my son, not throw him a tea: party--

Inara is polite, but afire with firmness.

INARA: Sir, the Companion Greeting Ceremony: is a ritual with centuries of: tradition behind it. There are: reasons for the way we do things.

HIGGINS: Listen, Inara, I called on you for: one thing and one thing only.: My son is twenty-six years old and he: ain't yet a man. Twenty-six! (looks at son w/: contempt): And since he can't find a willin': woman himself -

Inara takes Higgins by the arm and starts gently but firmly guiding him out of the shuttle. He blusters but goes along.

INARA: Mr. Higgins, you are not allowed here.


INARA: As I said, this room is a consecrated: Place Of Union. Only your son belongs: here.

HIGGINS: Well! This is-- I--

She escorts him out the door. There's a WET SHLUP as Higgins shoes hit the muddy ground.

INARA: Now you go on, and let us begin our: work.

HIGGINS: Now you listen here, young lady--

Inara flashes a sweet smile and closes the door on him.

INARA: Goodnight, Mr. Higgins.

Inara resets an out-of-place hair, smooths her countenance, and turns to Fess, now the portrait of hospitality.

INARA (cont'd): Well. That's a bit more peaceful.: Will you sit?


Jayne leans against the bar, drink in hand, surrounded by adorers. He's starting to get into it. Meadows raises his mug.

MEADOWS: To Jayne--

CROWD: To Jayne!

They all drink. Jayne grins, despite himself, and swigs down his drink. The bartender fills it immediately. Jayne smiles wider, lifts his glass.

JAYNE: To the Mudders!

CROWD: To the Mudders!

They drink again.

Wash and Mal stand off to the side. Wash has a glass of whiskey in his hand. A MUDDER ELDER, in his sixties, finishes his drink and turns to Mal.

MUDDER ELDER: So, you're one of Jayne's men, eh?

Wash smiles. Mal's not pleased.

MAL: What? No--

MUDDER ELDER: Must be a heck of an honor, servin': under a man like that. Strong as a: drafthorse, ain't he?

MAL: Listen mudhead, I don't--

MUDDER ELDER: An' a heart as big as all outdoors...

Wash CHUCKLES, patting Mal on the back.

WASH: Yup, we're just happy he lets us stay.

At a table, Simon and Kaylee sit, drinking. Simon's actually a little plastered, and Kaylee's having the time of her life, nestled next to him.

SIMON (a little slurred -: more reminiscing: than bitter): You know, I've saved lives. Dozens.: Maybe hundreds. I re-attatched a: girl's leg. Her whole leg. She: named her hamster after me. I got a: hamster. He drops a box of money, he: gets a town.

KAYLEE: Hamsters is nice -

SIMON: To Jayne! The box dropping, man-ape-: gone-wrong-thing, hero of mudville.

Kaylee laughs and drinks his toast with him.

KAYLEE: You know, you're pretty funny, even: without cussin'...

Simon takes another sip and smiles at her, seeing her in the drunken light which makes all things sublime.

SIMON: You know.. you're pretty... pretty.

Kaylee's smile drops. She wants to make sure she heard right.

KAYLEE: What? What did you say?

SIMON (drunk smile): Nothing. Just that you're pretty...: Even when you're covered with engine: grease, you're-- maybe 'specially: when you re covered with engine: grease, you're--

Mal steps in over them, unintentionally cutting Simon off.

MAL: It's time to get out of this: nuthouse. Got some plannin' to work: out.

KAYLEE: Now, Captain?! But things are goin': so well!

MAL (not quite getting it): Um. I suppose, Jayne's certainly: feelin' better about life. But we--

Kaylee gives Mal a fierce look.

KAYLEE: I said things are goin' well--

MAL (gets it): Oh. 'Well'. Well... I tell you what.: Jayne's stuck here with his adoring: masses, how about you and Simon hang: around, keep an eye on him for me?

Simon raises his glass, oblivious to any sub-text at this point, drunker by the minute.


Book and Zoe are crouched, Book's magnificent hair still out of it's cage. River is inside the bay's secret compartment.

RIVER (O.S.) (to herself, rapid): They say the snow on the roof is too: heavy--they say the ceiling will cave: in--his brains are in terrible: danger--

BOOK: River..? Please, why don't you come: on out...

RIVER (O.S.): No. Can't. Too much hair.

BOOK (surprised): Is-- Is that it?

He turns to Zoe, who nods.

ZOE: Hell yes, preacher. If I didn't have: stuff to get done, I'd be in there: with her...

Book gives Zoe a lock of mild affront and starts tying up his hair.

BOOK (to River): It's the rules of my order... Like: the book, it symbolizes --

ZOE (cuts him off): Uh-huh. River, honey... He's putting: the hair away now...

RIVER (O.S.): Doesn't matter. It'll still be: there...waiting...

WASH (O.S.): Honey, we're home!

Mal and wash walk into the cargo bay. Zoe goes to them.

ZOE: Where you guys been? Mal, Bernoulli's: chompin' at the bit. Says he wants: his merchandise yesterday--

MAL: Yeah, well, we got a couple of: wrinkles to work out on the deal.

WASH (bit buzzed on drink): Did you know Jayne is a bonafide folk: hero? Got a song and everything.

ZOE (as in 'get out'): < Shut up. > [Hoo-tsuh.] (eyes Wash): You been drinkin', husband.

MAL: That he has. Don't make it any less: the case.

ZOE: You're telling me Jayne is a--

MAL (nods): It's true. True enough to use,: anyways. We've talked a few pillars: of the mudder community into havin': a little 'Jayne Day' celebration in: town square tomorrow... That should: buy us enough distraction to get: those stolen goods out from under the: foreman and his crew a' prods...

ZOE: You're really gonna have to start: again.

They stop by Book.

MAL: Shepherd, everything goin' OK?

BOOK: I, uh, I'm working on it, Captain.

RIVER (O.S.): We need a snow shovel...


Fess sits next to Inara at the low table, sipping his tea.

FESS (looking into his cup): It's just...my father's always been: so in control, of everything, of me,: of everyone... I could never be like: him, no matter who he pays to-- (reddens, looks up): I'm sorry... This whole thing, it is: embarrassing. My father's right: again, I guess. And to have to bring: you here, to--

INARA: Your father isn't right, Fess. It's: not embarrassing to be a virgin. It's: simply one state of being. And as far: as bringing me here-- Companions: choose the people they're to be with: very carefully... For example, if: your father asked me to come here for: him, I wouldn't have.

FESS: Really?

INARA: Really, Fess. But you're different: from him.

She turns to him, stroking his cheek, looking into his eyes.

INARA (cont'd): The more you accept that, the: stronger you'll become...

She leans in and kisses him gently on the lips.


Jayne now has a WOMAN on one arm, clinging to him. She's somewhere between robust and plain, but with a Janis Joplin carnality that suits him. He speaks to Meadows, who looks at him adoringly.

JAYNE: So the Magistrate, he let you folks: keep all that cash?

MEADOWS: He did. And it pained him, that's for: dead sure. When he found out, he sent: his prods in to take it back from: us... But the workers resisted.

JAYNE: Fought the law, eh?

MEADOWS (nods): If the mudders are together on a: thing, there's too many of us to be: put down... So in the end, he just: called it a 'bonus.'

JAYNE (rueful laugh): One hell of a bonus...

MEADOWS: And then, when we put that statue of: you up in town square, he rolled in,: wanted to tear it down. But the whole: town rioted...

This, the idea of violence in his name, touches our drunken Jayne so deeply, a tear comes to his eye.

JAYNE (drunken emotion): You guys started a riot? On account: of me? Oh... I am truly touched,: truly, truly touched by that. I mean,: all of this has been swell and all,: but that, my very own riot... (almost chokes up): ...that's just about the nicest thing: I ever heard...

MEADOWS: I can't believe you're back...

He throws a big arm over Meadows, squeezing him warmly

JAYNE: How could I stay away?


Higgins paces as the foreman comes in, led by a VALET.

FOREMAN: Magistrate Higgins--

Higgins is only vaguely listening, lost in his dirty hopes.

HIGGINS: M'son's out there, I pray to God: losin' his cherry...

FOREMAN: There's a problem in worker-town, sir. (Higgins listening): Jayne Cobb's come back.

Whatever we can do to subtly imply that ancient, boiling hatred has just snapped a nerve in this Higgins' head...



Out on the bog. A catwalk stretches out to an area dotted with rusted steel boxes (not unlike the hotbox from Cool Hand Luke). Airholes poke through doors in their fronts.

Higgins and the foreman are at one of the boxes. The foreman carries a beat-up duffel bag.

The foreman fumbles through some keys and opens the door. Rank darkness inside. CAMERA PUSHES IN on the small dark doorway. We hear rustling insider the scratch of uncut nails along a wall.

HIGGINS: Evening, Stitch.

STITCH (O.S.) (hissing exhale): What do you want with me?

HIGGINS: Nothing. You've done your time.: Paid your debt. Time you were on: your way.

STITCH HESSIAN'S face pushes out of the shadows inside, fast. Half of it is a mass of scar tissue; one eye is missing.

He slithers out of the box, dropping heavily to his feet on the catwalk. He's a tall, creepy son-of-Manson, long bedraggled hair and beard, scarred all over his sinewy body.

Higgins nods to the foreman, who throws the duffel at Stitch.

HIGGINS (cont'd): Here. I believe these were your: personal affects...

Stitch looks in the duffel, surprised to pull out a SHOTGUN. Higgins turns, starting to walk away, then stops.

STITCH: You keep me in that box four years: and then give me a loaded gun?

HIGGINS: Got the urge to use it, no doubt.: But I'm not the one that brought you: in on that robbery. I'm not the one: who partnered up with you and then: turned on you when his plan went: south. How high up was that shuttle: when he pushed you out? Thirty feet? Jayne Cobb cost you four years of: your life, plus a perfectly good: eyeball. And here's the poetical: portion. he's back in town. This: very day.

Stitch's body tenses with hideous rage He COCKS his gun.

HIGGINS (O.S.): Best of luck in your new life.


Act Three


The morning after. One or two MUDDERS lie passed out. Camera finds Kaylee and Simon. They're tangled up in each other, asleep. Kaylee has her hand on Simon's chest, under his shirt, which is half-unbuttoned. She wakes groggily, sees Simon next to her, and smiles, soaking him in.

Then Mal is above her. She turns and smiles at him, too, still half-asleep.

KAYLEE (dreamy): Hiya, Captain... (snaps put of it): Captain!!

This wakes up Simon, who gets his bearings quickly.

SIMON: Wha--? Kay--? - Mal! Mal, I-uh...

He starts untangling himself roughly from Kaylee's embrace.

SIMON (cont'd): Captain, nothing happened-- There was: some drinking, but-- We certainly: didn't-- I mean, I would never-- not: with Kaylee, I-- I assure you,: nothing inappropriate took place--

KAYLEE: What do you mean, not with me?

Kaylee, getting pissed, helps him untangle with a strong shove. Mal is uninterested.

MAL: Uh-huh... Where's my hero?

JAYNE (singing): He robbed from the rich, and gave to: the poor, stood up to The Man, and: gave him what for...

Jayne descends the stairs into the tavern from the rooms above. His arm around the woman from last night.

JAYNE (cont'd): The living legend needs eggs! (gives it thought): Or another 'milk, maybe.

MAL: No. The living legend is comin' with: us. He has a little appearance to: make.

JAYNE: He does?

MAL: That's right. This job here has gone: way past long enough.

JAYNE (to the woman): You go on, now. Got me important hero-: type stuff to do.

Kaylee follows them to the door. Simon gets up, to fall in line, but Kaylee turns on him.

KAYLEE: Where you goin'?

SIMON: What? I'm coming with y--

She pokes him in the chest, miffed enough to not want him around for a bit.

KAYLEE: I don't think so. No, maybe you ought: to stay here. It's about the time for: a civilized person to have his: breakfast. That's the sorta thing: would be appropriate, don't you think?

Simon turns to Mal, who shrugs. It's clear Simon is only an honorary member of the club; Kaylee outranks him. They turn and go, leaving Simon alone in the tavern.

SIMON: Mal... (as they walk out): Guys?

MAL: See you on the ship, Doc.

Simon shakes his head, still groggy, and sits down. After a beat, he turns to the bartender.

SIMON: Excuse me... Could I see a menu?

BARTENDER (laughing snort): "Menu"...


Fess lies next to Inara in bed.

INARA: You're very quiet.

FESS: I'm sorry -- I'm just -- I just: thought I'd feel... different,: after... Aren't I supposed to be a: "man" now?

INARA: A man's just a boy who's old enough: to ask that question. Our time: together, it's a ritual, a symbol.: It means something to your father.: I hope it was not entirely: forgettable for you...

FESS: Oh, no, it was...

INARA: But it doesn't make you a man. That: you do yourself.

This seems to sink in with Fess. We hear a loud RAPPING at the shuttle door.

HIGGINS (O.S.): Fess! Fess Higgins, get out here!


Mal and Jayne walk along the lane of shanties we used once before. Kaylee walks a distance behind.

MAL: So that's where the little 'Jayne': celebration we planned comes: in... Should give us time to move the: goods back onto Serenity...

JAYNE: I dunno. I mean, do you think we: should be usin' my fame to hoodwink: folks?

Mal stops, turning.

MAL: You better laugh when you say that.

JAYNE: No really, Mal. I mean, maybe there's: somethin' to this-- The Mudders... I: think I really made a difference in: their lives. Me, you know? Jayne Cobb.

MAL: I know your name, jackass.

JAYNE: Did you know they had a riot on my: account?

Mal turns as Wash drives up on the MULE, with Zoe.

WASH: Morning, kids.

ZOE: Is that Jayne? Is that really him? Wash-- pinch me, I must be dreamin'.

Mal hops on the Mule, as does Kaylee. He turns to Jayne.

JAYNE: Hell, I'll pinch ya.

MAL: Just get on over to town square,: Jayne. Your fans are waiting.

They drive off.


Wash drives the mule to a deserted back area of Canton, and they all dismount.

They clamber through the reeds, and come upon a steep earth- cut.

Down in it we see a pile of CRATES, covered with a mud- colored CAMOUFLAGE TARP.

MAL: Here we go...


Fess is sitting down in the shuttle. Inara is cleaning up tea stuff.

INARA: A criminal hearing?

FESS: My father's ordered me to attend.: See, there was this man. It happened: when I was growing up here. He stole: a ton of money from my Dad, and gave: it to the poor, to my father's: workers. And he's become kind of a: folk hero in Canton.

INARA: Go on.

FESS: Well, he's back. Apparently he landed: here yesterday.

INARA: Yesterday. (sighs, to herself): Oh, no. (to Fess): I know this man. He's-- he just has: this idiotic sense of nobility, you: know? He can never just let things: be-- He thinks he's this hard-hearted: criminal, and he can be : unrelenting... but there's a side to: him that is so...

FESS: You mean you actually know Jayne?

You could knock her over with a feather.

INARA: Jayne? Jayne Cobb? You're talking: about Jayne Cobb.

FESS: Yes. Jayne Cobb, the Hero Of Canton.: The only person I ever saw who stood: up to my father.

INARA: I--wha--nnn?

FESS: My Dad traced him back to his ship.: He had Port Control put a land-lock: on it. Jayne'll get back and find out: he's grounded. I sort of hate the: idea of his getting caught.

INARA (still thrown): Yes. That would be bad.


Simon picks through a plate of MUDDER FOOD, nose wrinkling at every greasy item on it.

SIMON: Uh... Ahem, Could I just get the-- the: check, please?

Then he sees that the bartender is gone. The door SLAMS open. Stitch Hessian stands in the doorway, backlit.

STITCH: Heard tell you run with Jayne Cobb...

Simon, squinting into the daylight, with Stitch's shadow falling over him.

SIMON: Excuse me?

STITCH: You're gonna take me to that dirty: low-down shingle of a man...

Stitch strides toward Simon, who bristles, somewhere between affronted and afraid.

SIMON: Listen, 'sir', I don't know who you: think you--

Stitch backhands Simon across the face with vicious force, slapping him to the floor.

STITCH: Sir!? Look at me, ya' pantywaist: idjit!

He kicks Simon in the guts, hard.

STITCH (cont'd): I just spent the last four years: steamin' in a hotbox and you're: sirrin' me?

He kicks him again, then reaches down and lifts him up with one hand. Simon reaches desperately for a clay beer bottle off a table as Stitch talks.

STITCH (cont'd): Folks say you're part a' Jayne's: team. So--

Stitch pulls a SWITCHBLADE from his belt and flicks it open alongside Simon's face.

STITCH (cont'd): Where is that no-good reptile hidin': hisself? You tell me, boy, or I'm a': cut off every last bit a' your good: looks.

Simon brings the bottle up and smashes it against the side of Stitch's head. Stitch SLASHES THE KNIFE ACROSS THE BACK OF SIMON'S FOREARM! Simon drops the jagged bottle neck.

SIMON: Aaagh!

Stitch slams his fist into Simon's face, dropping him.

STITCH (low chuckle): Not done yet, youngin'... That's: gonna cost you an eye.

Stitch whips his head around as he hears an OS chanting, down the street:

CROWD (O.S.): Jayne! Jayne! Jayne!

He hauls Simon toward the door.

STITCH: Come on.


The mule drives by, as its riders witness the MASS OF MUDDERS thronging in the distance.


Jayne stands before his statue, arms upraised, amid a throng of MUDDERS, who chant his name.

CROWD: Jayne! Jayne! Jayne!

The foreman and his PRODS stand in a tight snarl of hip-boots and truncheons. The Prod turns to the foreman.

PROD: Come on, sir, let's just get in there: and--

FOREMAN: No. Magistrate says no, so we hold: position. Understand me?

The Prod and his ilk are chomping at the bit.


Mal, Zoe, and Wash haul crates of STOLEN PROP up the ramp (off the mule?) sweating from the honest labor of lifting. Mal slaps the top of the last crate with finality, breathing easy for the first time in a day.

MAL: Zoe, pack down this cargo. Wash, you: heat up Serenity, We're blowin' this: mess inside a' half an hour.

Wash heads off for the bridge.

WASH: Already there.

MAL (to Kaylee): Let's go get our wayward babes.

He turns and starts heading back out the door. Kaylee follows.


Meadows finally manages to quiet the townfolk. Meadows cries out.

MEADOWS: Speech!

CROWD: Speech! Speech!

A wave of public-speaking anxiety sweeps over Jayne, but he succumbs to will of the people.

JAYNE: I'm no good with words. Don't use 'em: much, myself... (crowd chuckles): But I want to thank y'all, for bein': here, and for thinking so much of: me... Far as I see it, You people: have been given the shortest end of: a stick ever offered a human soul in: this crap-heel 'verse... But you took: that end, and you, you know... Well...: You took it. And that's... I guess: that's somethin'.

Jayne nods. The crowd APPLAUDS. Kaylee and Mal have just arrived.

KAYLEE: Wow... That didn't sound half bad...

MAL: I'm shocked, my own self.

The applause halts as A SHOTGUN BLAST EXPLODES.

Stitch stands there, shotgun pointed skyward and smoking, Simon, bloody, held up by the scruff. He hurls Simon forward, he pitches into the dirt, barely conscious.

JAYNE (moment of disbelief): Stitch Hessian...

STITCH: Hey there, Jayne. Thought I'd make ya: watch while I butcher me one a' your: boys.

Jayne looks down at Simon. He covers for him.

JAYNE: Ain't one a mine, Stitch...

Stitch looks at Simon, then at Jayne, skeptical.

JAYNE (cont'd) (mirthless chuckle): Where you been hidin'? You gone and: got yourself lookin' mighty hideous...

STITCH (laughs at it): Yeah...

Stitch walks past Simon, squaring off with Jayne, about twenty feet between them.

The prods and the foreman look on. The prods are jumpy, but they see that the foreman is smiling.

FOREMAN: Yep. Now Jayne gets his...

Kaylee gets to Simon and gathers him up into her arms.

SIMON: Kaylee--?

KAYLEE: Aw honey...

STITCH: So what's this 'bout the 'Hero a': Canton'? Was I hearin' that right? Four years' lock-down can play tricks: on the ears...

Jayne looks around at the crowd, their scared eyes, remembering suddenly he has an audience.

JAYNE: Ain't no hero, Stitch. Just a workin': stiff like yourself...

STITCH (fit of cackling): Whoo! Yessir! Now that is funny... (to the crowd): Yep. He's right, Jayne is. Fact, we: used to work together, he an' I.

The crowd looks to Jayne, who seems to redden a bit. Mal gets to the front of the crowd, about ten paces from Stitch; he's too tuned in. He swings his shotgun at Mal, covering him.

STITCH (cont'd): Now you let ol' Stitch speak his: piece.

Mal raises his hands slightly. Instinctively, Mal knows he's dealing with a cold and deadly son-of-a-bitch.

MAL (slight nod): Go on, then.

STITCH: Whole lotta money inna Magistrate's: safe, weren't there, Jayne? (to crowd): Got away clean too. But then our: plane took a hit, an' we were goin': down. Dumped the fuel reserve, dumped: the life support, hell we even dumped: the seats. Then there was Jayne, the: money and me. And there was no way: he was gonna drop that money...

MEADOWS: He did! He dropped it on the mudders!

STITCH: By accident, you inbred dunghead! He: tossed me out first. We run together: six months and he turned on me 'fore: I could scream.

JAYNE: You'd'a done the same.

STITCH: Not ever! You protect the man you're: with -- you watch his back! Everybody knows that -- 'cept the: "hero of Canton."

JAYNE: You gonna talk me to death, buddy? That the plan?

Meadows turns to Jayne, eyes imploring him. Jayne looks away. Jayne's hand is sliding up his side, reaching for the hilt of his knife.

STITCH: This is the plan.

Stitch lifts up the shotgun, cocking it in the same motion, and fires, square at Jayne.

Meadows hurls his body in the way, taking the blast full in the chest.


Act Four


Meadows falls, dead. Jayne throws his knife.

Knife whizzes through the air and catches Stitch dead center in the chest. He staggers back, and throws the spent gun to the side. He and Jayne charge each other, ROARIN' LIKE BULLS.

Jayne catches him, they struggle. Jayne spins Stitch, shoving him (he's beginning to flag from the knife) back.

Jayne gets to his statue and starts smashing the back of Stitch's head against it- Over and over. As much as is showable, he Peckinpaws Stitch's sorry ass.

The crowd, MAL, our crew, the prods, everyone is silent. Jayne rears up from the OS bloody mess of his ex-partner, and turns to Meadow's body, which lies in the mud near him. He starts to pick him up, but the man flops, lifeless.

JAYNE: Get up you stupid piece-a-- Get up!

Jayne looks down into Meadow's open, dead eyes.

The YOUNG BOY (13, from the end of act 1) stands over Stitch's body. He reaches for the knife...

JAYNE (cont'd) (still to Meadows): What'd you do that for? What's wrong: with you? Didn't you hear a word he: said? I'm a mean, dumb sommbitch! (drops the body): An' you don't take no bullets for a: dumb sommbitch, you dumb sommbitch!

Jayne turns back to the crowd.

JAYNE (cont'd): All of you! You think someone's just: gonna drop money on ya, money they: could use? There ain't people like: that! There's just people like me.

Jayne turns to the boy, who holds his bloody knife out to him. Jayne takes it, seeing the unabated reverence in his eyes.

Jayne's eyes go wild for a beat. He walks past the boy, to his statue.

With a MIGHTY HEAVE he pushes it back, toppling it, continuing on out, the others following.


They jog up the ramp, Kaylee helping Simon. Jayne stalks in after them, head down, silent. He just keeps walking. Mal hits the ship's comm.

MAL: Wash, we're in. Get us the hell offa: this mud-ball.

WASH (O.S.) (over intercom): Uh.. yeah...I'm--uh--workin' on that.


Wash's screen all flash: "LAND-LOCK"

WASH (to himself): < motherless goats of all motherless: goats > [Gao yang jong duh goo yang.]

He hits switches all over, trying to override it. Inara walks into the bridge.

INARA: Hello, Wash. Has there been any: problem with take-off--?

WASH: Is there a problem? Is there a: problem?!

The 'LAND-LOCK' message changes to "LAND-LOCK RELEASED". Wash sits up, calms down.

WASH (cont'd): Uh, no. We're fine.

Inara just smiles as we hear the ENGINES START TO WARM UP.



Serenity takes off, leaving this ugly-ass moon behind.


Fess sits at the dining room table. His red-faced, furious father looms over him, barking. Fess smiles, relaxed.


FESS: I sent an override to Port control.: Lifted the land-lock on Serenity.

HIGGINS: I ought to tear that smile off your: head! How dare you defy me! You-- You--

FESS: You wanted to make a man of me, Dad.: I guess it worked.



River sits, reading intently - and ripping a page out, setting it beside her. Book passes, coming from his room with his taped together bible. He moves to speak -

RIVER (not looking up): Just keep walking, preacher-man.

He does.

KAYLEE (O.S.): You got to be steely.


It's darkish in here - intimate, as it's near bed time. Simon sits on his bed, a bandage on his cut forehead, a bit of a bloody eye. Kaylee touches his face, gently, as she talks.

KAYLEE: Can't be letting men stomp on you so: much.

SIMON: Wasn't exactly a plan...

KAYLEE: You ain't weak - You couldn't beat: him back? Or would that not be: "appropriate"?

SIMON: You're never letting go of that, are: you?

KAYLEE: Well you confound me some, is all.: You like me well enough, we get: along, and then you go all stiff.

SIMON (misunderstanding): I'm not - I didn't --

KAYLEE: See? You're doing it right now.: What's so damn important about bein': proper? Don't mean nothin' out here: in the black.

SIMON: It means more out here. It's all I: have. My way of being, polite or: however - it's the only way I have of: showing you that I like you. Of: showing respect.

A beat as she takes this in.

KAYLEE: So when we made love last night -

SIMON (ack!): When we what?

KAYLEE (laughing): You really are such an easy mark.


Jayne stands looking at his knife on the catwalk above the bay. Mal walks in, Jayne sees him, sheathes the knife. Mal rests his hands on the rail by him. Then, after a long beat.

JAYNE: Don't make no sense. (beat): Why the hell'd that mudder go an do: that, Mal? Jumpin' in front a' that: shotgun blast. Weren't a one of them: understood what happened out there -: hell, they're probably stickin' that: statue right back up.

MAL: Most like.

JAYNE: Don't know why that eats at me so...

MAL: It's my estimation that every man: ever got a'statue made of him was one: kind of sommbitch or another. Ain't: about you, Jayne. 'Bout what they: need.

Beat as Jayne takes this in. Neither man moves.

JAYNE: Don't make no sense.





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